It’s an awkward subject for some however, others can talk about death like it’s nothing to be afraid of. I am one of those people now. I was probably always that person, I just didn’t know it yet.
I talk about this a lot in my blog but getting HELLP syndrome and almost losing my life (not to forget almost losing my unborn child), well, it changed me like it would most people.
It made me stronger.
It made me more resilient.
It made me a survivor.
It made me a better mother.
It made me a better wife.
It made me a better daughter and sister.
It made me a better friend.
It made me appreciate things more.
It made me notice the value in those who valued me.
It made me believe that I can do anything.
It made me go after my personal goals.
It made me reach a major personal goal (first book! http://www.facebook.com/littlemiraclebook).
It made me hug my kids a little bit tighter.
It made me better.
It helped mold the ‘me’ I am today.
I believe life throws us curve balls occasionally to test us and this was my most difficult curve ball to maneuver so far. It taught me more about life in one year than I had ever learned before.
Try and find the positive message in every situation and you too can feel at peace with your traumatic days. Take it from me, life gets better when you veer over to the side I’m on. It’s worth striving for.
Moving past yesterday can be complex when you have a world of yesterday’s that you’re still trying to deal with. Reflecting on my own past, I have spent a lot of time trying to overcome and banish negativity. In a way, I let my problems grow and used my own ignorance to allow them to manifest further. I am a sometimes fan of the ‘ignore and it will go away on it’s own’ policy. There are just some things in life you can ignore, though at times this tactic does not work.
At the root of every bad situation that I have been in seems to be one defining trait of mine; I’m a worrier. If I have a dilemma, I will worry. If you have a dilemma, I’ll worry for you. If there’s a dilemma that possibly, maybe, might happen.. I will worry! I’m the mum that stares down at the cracks in the footpath and freaks out at every step my (very clumsy) child takes. If something negative happens, I’ll spend much of my day trying to come up with a solution or a plan to move past it. It’s a trait I cannot seem to shake as it always returns.
Yet perhaps what I see as a sometimes troubling trait is actually a surefire indication that I care; that I’m a natural born nurturer. Maybe if we mark the negative points in our pasts with why they were significant rather than with what they actually were, perhaps we could all have a smoother transition towards our next chapter. I don’t know, what are your thoughts?
I have a confession. When I was younger and fresh out of high school my world was a small, confined box. All I knew was what I knew and all I pictured for my future was within that little box. Until little by little, my world grew. I met new people, I visited new places, I moved away from my hometown and I began to expand my mind through education/work. When I picture my young 18 year old self (a million years ago!), I see someone who thought they knew what they were doing when really, I had no idea. If I could start again (which I would never do, for the record!), I’d ditch that notion of being too frightened of messing up. That has always been my worst trait, the fear of failure. If only I had took a big, deep breath and plunged myself into my writing early, perhaps I would not have failed so much.
Yet, where does acknowledging my regrets get me? Does it make me wiser? Can it empower me or could it just make me fall in a heap and give up? I cannot tell you how many times I thought, ‘gee, if only’. Now I’m sitting here regretting writing this post! I should just be getting on with life, not wallowing in the ‘what could have been’. The only reason I’ll push ‘publish’ on this is to save one of you from spending too much time thinking about your regrets.
Now back to the writing… I have a lot to catch up on! I urge you to get on with things too
May your failures be your stepping stones
Creating success along the way,
Time will heal those old wounds
And strip your doubts away.
Always reach toward your dreams
Forgive, as that’s the key,
Focus on the joy you have
Be open, honest… free.
The pressure we put on ourselves is more often than not just plain ridiculous. I find that when I feel I should have the answer I will beat myself up over it, and I’m not opposed to the odd personal insult either. I obsess over it and often spend hours thinking about whatever it is I should have already had an understanding of. However, I should never ridicule myself with insults. Something I truly believe is if we have a negative opinion of ourselves, others sometimes catch up on that vibe too. Self doubt NEVER has a good outcome. So leave the pity party and come outside where the birds are chirping. I’ve made mistakes, both big and small. Yet I won’t let failure get me down anymore. There are plenty of reasons to be proud of ourselves. Make a list if you need to and don’t discriminate. It all counts!
We all have something to offer, it’s just a journey for some of us to realise what that actually is.
There’s a beautiful little girl in my life who isn’t my own daughter, nor is she related. This amazing girl has bucket loads of personality along with a level of compassion that you rarely see in the average 8 – 10 year old. You see, this little would give her whole world away just to make sure everyone in her family is happy and healthy. Her mother is just as giving and just as kind.
The reason I write about my little friend today is because she is struggling. Her battle is not with herself. This girl has a sibling with Autism.
I won’t sit here and pretend that I know what is like for a child who has to deal with forms of mental and physical torment at the hands of a sibling. I won’t tell you how I can relate to their poor mum who has to deal with problematic behaviour daily, with little and sometimes no support.
I just want to say this…
Where is the help when one needs it most? This family has run into roadblocks at every turn. WHY?
Times like now I think that the system works for some of us but not for others.
A genuine family who needs genuine help is begging for it. They just don’t know where else to turn.
The most distressing thing is, I doubt very much that they are the only ones.
Well this is embarrassing, but since I pledged to become a blogger and share just about anything, here goes…
Moments we spend together in love
Cherished; I solemnly weep,
For what we share so special
Is what I wish to keep.
Every kiss is meaningful
Gentle in its touch,
A hand so very mesmerized
I feel its very clutch.
You hold me ever so gently
Moving closer; I feel you breathe,
Mesmerizing with your eyes
Your presence makes me weak.
With every whispered word you speak
Accompanied by eyes so blue,
I hang by every letter
Paused; utterly charmed by you.
So I wrote this as a teenager (about 15 years ago) and I found it today whilst going through remnants of my past. I certainly wasn’t in love with anyone and I don’t even think I was writing about that. My inspiration? Well it will forever remain a mystery!
Having children can be purely monotonous yet at the same time, it’s the best job in the world. There are days where everything feels like an uphill battle and that all you want is to have one measly moment to yourself. We rush when we have that spare 10 minutes and have the innate ability to squeeze in that job that should take 20. We spend months where friends go on the back burner as the kids are sick or home life and work just keep us away. We ponder our futures often, feeling the pressure to have clear plans for when we return to the workforce full-time. All this when our time is limited, we simply have very little to work with. Sadly more often than not the pressure we feel comes from ourselves. We observe other families who ‘have more’ or are ‘more accomplished’ and feel like we’ve failed. These thoughts compel us to believe things about ourselves that are simply untrue. Unfortunately too many women feel this way.
I used to be one of them.
So before you compare yourself to another person remember this. We’re not all supposed to be robots moving to the same beat (cue the dance! – my daughter would love this) Some of us find what we are looking for early in life and some of us later on. If you take a long hard look at yourself, you might just find that you have more on offer than you first thought. You might discover something you didn’t know about yourself, a skill or a passion not yet unearthed.
These days, months or years of self discovery are ones to nurture. They’re not given to us so we can fill them with self-destruction. Besides, don’t we want to be the best and most realistic role models that we can be for our children? Don’t we want to provide them the most optimum example possible?
Even if all you can offer right now is a smile on your face. That’s okay. There were months last year where that’s all I could provide my eldest daughter. I barely saw her as I was busy juggling a premature baby in NICU along with life at home. By just smiling alone, you’re teaching your children that a smile can go a long way towards happiness. Copious amounts of joy can be spread with just one smile. Matched with some good old fashioned manners, it can transform into making someone else’s day.
So say ‘cheese!’ a little more than you did yesterday. You’ll feel a little better and so might others. It might even go as far as propelling your confidence to another level.